Chat we are soooo back,
I don't know exactly when or why it happened but sometime last night my brain clicked back into place.
Sitting there I had enjoyed a smoke, down the hatch 2 bacardi lemons (LIKE A GENTLEMAN), having a conversation, I felt the glass break in my head and I could see through the veil of reality. My family is something to behold, especially during a celebration, Last night was Papa's birthday - WE LOVE YOU PAPA HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN - but all of a sudden many things just started making sense.
Just got access to the buyer pool at my brokerage as well so we're ripping again. I am catching a rhythm and I am - BEYOND SATISFACTION - life can be good again and I am okay with that.
We pray often for happiness and relief from burden but I think it's interesting in my life experience is that when I have gotten what I wanted I didn't know how to have it. If I had received happiness and relief at certain points in my life, there were many a time I wasn't the right suitor for those feelings, maybe I took things personally, maybe I was offended by the world. But ultimately, I was going to through a period of malcontent, but ultimately, that is okay. It is okay to say you are not okay. The brave face at certain junctions is the honest one.
Today's song is strangers by proderics. Enjoying this song greatly as of recent, it reminds me that great love and care must be taken in the people that we meet and those we enjoy the company of, because oh the heartbreak when they become a stranger. When you walk by them down the road, or in a hallway, and maybe you share a shifty exchange of looks, maybe you share a mutual fixture on the direction you're walking in an attempt to not acknowledge, if someone breaks the treatise, you act as if you were lost in thought. But all the while, it feels out of body, hallucinatory, because as you mutually ignore each other, the laughter and whimpers snuck out behind a tear, echoing in the room, a great pain is knowing someone is still physically there, but they won't be THERE with you again.
TO LOOP IT BACK TO THE BEGINNING ;) (if you're reading this, there is your shoutout ;))
It's about finding, seeking, and nurturing the love in our lives, in our interior and exterior lives.
A world beyond this world, a place beyond this place - One day we'll be together, you and I, alone at last
I found love in a hopeless place, (oofa im writing this, and now im thinking that i want to also include lithium-nirvana as the song, but im really feeling this proderics song) I found love inside my own heart, soul, and mind. I have found it incumbent upon myself to learn about myself, a cross I have been bearing for some time. Those who have had intimate conversation with me, You probably know that I have trouble saying what my favorite color is, for so long, I haven't known what my favorite color is - Just for today, I'll say it's Camelot Blue, subject to change at any moment tho ;)
Think about the idea of being alone with love, the actual representation of love, myself and love, you and love. What would that be like>?